Some of the recovery has to do with "the empathy and contrition of the cheater," Durvasula noted. Or partner is cheating on you. It is a daunting task, but it is a lot easier than rebuilding trust after an emotional affair. Its easyand fun, too. It's also possible that there are motivations that were not fully captured in this study, in part becauseas the authors notedparticipants were trying to remember what motivated past behavior. An affair should not be the chosen catalyst to improve a relationship. Impulsivity. This month, nurture your relationships each day. According to Marin, many people who cheat aren't looking for something they're missing in their relationship. Or, maybe you cheated because you're not as committed to your partner as they are to you. Are they taking responsibility? "That was how . But in the end, both of you will be happier and move on to find new love love that you truly deserve. However, the psychologist noted this research is limited because it may not account for the full range of infidelity, including emotional infidelity, online infidelity, as well as "what sexual or intimate behavior qualifies" as infidelity. "The Sun", "Sun", "Sun Online" are registered trademarks or trade names of News Group Newspapers Limited. Without it, the love you once shared is severely endangered, says Los Angeles-based psychologist Dr. Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D. When trust gets significantly damaged, emotional and physical intimacy can become infrequent or non-existent, and a multitude of upsetting feelings such as anger, resentment, jealousy, insecurity, hurt, and/or sadness can cause disconnection, she explains. She told The Observer: Many affairs are break-ups, but some affairs are make-ups.. In her new book, "The State of Affairs," Perel offers a nuanced perspective on infidelity one that deliberately eschews labels and generalizations. 2023byTango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved. "We've got a counter-government here . explicit permission. Women may also cheat because they feel that they have grown apart from their partner over time, or because they are seeking validation or a sense of self-worth outside of the marriage. In this video, we'll explore why taking. But we did not pick up where we left off. This vital bone of any couplehood is what glues you together, makes you feel comfortable, and encourages you to be vulnerable together. Instead, the person cheating is dealing with issues about themselves. MOST people consider cheating to be the worst thing you can do in a relationship, and would end it if they found out their partner was being unfaithful. My Partner's Parents Cheated. The act can "activate old losses, traumas, betrayals, and raise issues including anxiety, depression and strong grief reactions," she explained. ", The psychologist explained: "It's a flawed argument because while a male could impregnate multiple females, if he can't ensure their safety and feedingand the progeny doesn't make it to reproductive agethen there is no point. Kilmer noted that if one chooses to leave the relationship, "therapy can also be helpful if there is a pattern in choosing partners that are unfaithful/distant or if they played a role in creating distance in the relationship.". C. Mellie Smith and her blog InfidelityHealng.com specializes in providing her readers with tips and tools to survive infidelity. Cheating may have nothing to do with someone's significant other. Stay up to date with what you want to know. Some might say. A dispiriting 59% of the subjects lied about how well they did and took the ill-gotten payoff. While certainly, one primary reason could drive a person to be unfaithful, it's likely that a combination of factors is at the root of many extradyadic affairs. Now, there are 2 options in this situation. Cheating in a relationship is becoming so common these days that it is beginning to get one thinking if cheating is now part of the package. Lacking the maturity to invest the time, commitment, and energy to work through core issues within their . Turning away from or turning against your partner. This refers to a "biological expectation" that men would want multiple partners to maximize reproduction and choose younger partners for "fertility reasons. A car horn sounds outside, he puts it into his or harmonizes under it a second later. But its important to realize that while things might seem bad at the time, its always possible for the negative to end up being a positive, even when an affair rocks your relationship. Durvasula also said: "In addition, the research is often heteronormative, and doesn't capture this experience in LGBTQ+ relationships. Some people cheat because they don't feel they're worthy of a healthy, loving relationship, while others do it simply because they feel bad about themselves. When you dont show how much you love your partner, they can feel isolated and lonely which can make them seek comfort and love elsewhere. Yes, it can. At some point or another, we are all tempted by the fruit of another. Why risk it? See additional information. That being said, if you commit infidelity in your long-term relationship and fess up to your wanderings, could your union actually be better off than it was before you strayed? Join half a million readers enjoying Newsweek's free newsletters. She's also witnessed the blossoming of new love and understanding between partners after the discovery of an affair. In their study, Selterman and colleagues (2019) solicited reasons for why people cheated and then focused their analysis on synthesizing the many motives people offered. The cheating partner might also justify their actions by pointing out their partner's issues, such as being controlling, having a drug and alcohol problem, or being inattentive. Women, she says, tend to have an emotional connection with their lover and are more likely to have an affair because of loneliness. Early on, they boldly declare that they would never lie or cheat. A June 2015 study found around 41 percent of men admit they have thought about cheating on their partners, while 39 percent claim they hadn't ever thought about it. Your partner will have to engage in trust buildingwhatever that looks like, and that may be the work of couples therapy," Durvasula said. Excitement seeking. "Switching life up," such as by traveling, trying something new, taking on new hobbies or activities. Feeling neglected. I am just someone trying to find my way through life. "Once someone cheats in the relationship, there's no reason to stay. Alex Alexander is an author for YourTango. When you have an affair, you make that part of your couples history and you have to find a way to incorporate that pain into the story of your relationship, she explains. I screamed, I shouted, I physically abused her, I reasoned with her, I begged her and I manipulated her so that she wouldnt leave me. Cheating can be a way to get a partners attention and to facilitate the change they seek. Sometimes being apart can make both partners happier than staying together and infidelity can help you get to that point, especially when your relationship is more of a habit, than a partnership. Are they owning up to it and also committing to addressing it? In some cases, cheating can be the result of one partner denying their own sexual or gender identity. View our online Press Pack. Spring. It broke my heart. Working through the after-effects of an affair requires honesty and a serious commitment. Someone may be struggling with accepting they are gay or bisexual, and "they want to experiment, want to explore," Page says. Will My Partner Cheat on Me? In some ways, thats no surprise. An emotional affair lacks sexual intimacy but has intense or enduring emotional intimacy. "Women tend to be more unhappy with the relationship they are in . Jeff wanted kids while Kim didn't. This kind of behavior, however, is a reflection of something deeply rooted inside of them. In a long time, this was the first time I acted selflessly. Motivations for infidelity in heterosexual dating couples: The roles of gender, personality differences, and sociosexual orientation. Entering a negative state and avoiding conflict. Facebook image: Motortion Films/Shutterstock. Infidelity shakes you up so much that you cant help but analyze what your relationship means to you. In a post on the "Enlightened Living" blog, Formica makes the case that thinking about cheating and even stepping out on your sweetie can potentially help your relationship. Going through an experience like this can take a serious toll on your mental and emotional health, and once you come out of it (and you will find your way out of that dark pit), you mature emotionally. Being able to compartmentalize sex and intimacy and their own primary relationship. Low self-esteem (a desire for reassurance that one is desirable). Yes, getting cheated on is a horrible experience. The US-based guru says that although she doesnt advocate adultery, it can reinforce a marriage. There is no reset button to go backwards to what once was," she said. With effort, infidelity can lead to a deeper and stronger marriage through heartbreak, realization and effort. 5 Maybe you fell out of love with your partner. When couples view it as a warning sign that there are serious problems in their relationship, it could be a positive thing. Perhaps your partner will attend after you have a few sessions under your belt, or maybe through your solo work you can explore what you are getting out of the relationship and assess if it's one you wish to stay in, she recommends. And other times, cheating happens at random, indicating a need for more self-evaluation and reflection outside of the bounds of a relationship. They seem to be as rare as unicorns, but they do exist: they swear an affair brought them closer together. Reason #2: The Lack of Real Intimacy It's not rocket science to say that the likelihood of infidelity in a relationship is directly proportional to how miserable the relationship is. For other inquiries, Contact Us. So when that trust is broken, the relationship may look like a failure making you question your worth. Although each relationship is different and all of us deal with infidelity in our own way, the choices and consequences of our decisions solely rely on us and our relationship history. The recovery will also vary depending on whether the relationship is going to end or keep going. December 6, 2019. How did we become so numb to each other? It broke my spirit. It is only when she cheated on me, I realized the truth I need to put in effort to make the relationship work. Emotional cheating happens when you establish a close, intimate connection with someone who isn't your partner. By some accounts, the lifetime prevalence of infidelity is approximately 20 to 25 percent of marriages, with men and women cheating at similar rates (Fincham & May, 2017). And this time I made sure I put in the effort every single day to make sure she knows how important she is to me. These steps include the following: Studies suggest that around 30 to 40 percent of unmarried relationships and 18 to 20 percent of marriages see at least one incident of sexual infidelity, according to Kilmer. Psychotherapist Esther Perel believes that even though infidelity can spell doom for most relationships, for some, it can strengthen the bond shared by the romantic couple. Emotional affairs can easily evolve into sexual affairs and be just as threatening to the primary relationship. 1. Either way, that is still positive growth. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our, Digital 1. If it does end, then the recovery will focus on "grief work, healing from the breakup and all the issues of that and doing the healing from the betrayal therapy is often essential," Durvasula explained. A couple sitting on the floor near a couch, away from each other. If the flirting is just harmless and it does not get out of hand, it can hardly be considered cheating. But only if youre up for it as working through the mess of an affair will require deliberate effort and commitment from both partners. By Alex Alexander Written on Feb 23, 2022. These problems become a normal part of the relationship that keep getting dusted under the carpet because neither you nor your partner want to get to the root of it and get it sorted. Yet the truth is that cheating often requires feeling bad about ourselves anywayand it creates a minefield of potential additional risks as well. They reveal great variety in the reasons as to why people cheat. Cheating affects a man's or a woman's self-esteem in the following ways: Emotional symptoms: Stress, anxiety, and depression. Dr. Mann explains that its rare for a person to believe that being unfaithful might actually improve their relationship; rather, thoughts of infidelity are almost always a sign of underlying trouble in the relationship. For others, an affair can be a way to exit the relationship. This question is an easy one, according to Dr. Mann: cheating is never, ever a good idea. Here again, the effects of infidelity can transform a marriage in a positive way,. It may mean both individual therapy and couples therapy. 1. What if that trust is violated? The same is surely true of the smug political operatives who decide its time for some traffic problems in Fort Lee, or who burgle offices or political headquarters to dig up dirt on their enemies. However, if flirting is a symptom of neglect in a relationship, it can very quickly get out of control and lead to something more significant. This sin only damages your soul. The Hunt for Super Pluto Comes Up EmptyFor Now, How Black Filmmakers Are Reclaiming Their History Onscreen. The idea of being naughty, taking the risk, and the possibility of getting caught adds thrill to their sexual pleasure. Because it takes effort. Sometimes, the bad guys are being goaded in their creative misbehavior. The Sun website is regulated by the Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO), Our journalists strive for accuracy but on occasion we make mistakes. But, as I often say, everything is material for change. Approximately 95 percent gave examples that included sexual/physical infidelity. When a partner steps outside of the agreement or the contract of a monogamous relationship, the hurt partner's own identity comes into question. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Sometimes, and particularly in the case of domestic abuse within a relationship, the type of interaction described in sign two could actually be an indication your . The desire to have our beloved partner to ourselves is such a primal need that the breach of a monogamy can inspire a level of hurt and rage that is unique to other kinds of betrayal, she explains. This could be a sheer case of vengeance when a partner, for some reason, wishes to inflict pain on the other before leaving. The reasons people cheat are often difficult to classify into simple categories and sometimes, they blend into each other. Cheating because the partner has general commitment issues on themselves, attachment issues, or other personal things that they can't get past. 7) The thrill that comes with cheating. PostedOctober 18, 2019 If youve already tried that route and feel like youre hitting up against a wall over and over, it might be time to seek professional help in the form of therapy. But what matters most is what you do next. Other therapists take a similar approach to cheating despite Americans' generally Puritanical attitudes toward sexual immorality. According to several psychologists, the answer is a resounding: nope, not at all. Marriages accept and expectmonogamy, so infidelity is harmful, right? So how can there be any benefits of cheating in a relationship? A percentage of people cheat due to low self-esteem or stress. RELATED:5 Women Open Up About What It's Like To Cheat On Their Husbands. In fact, it can act as a catalyst that ignites romance and brings back some love into your relationship. I felt betrayed, guilty, ashamed, and most of all, unworthy. And it is evil towards the other person and towards God. Reviewed by Devon Frye. Yes, we openly communicated about everything that happened, but with acceptance and without judgment. It's a big red warning sign. It can change your perspective about your partner and help you save your relationship. A Marriage Counselor Explains It All Skip to main content Like what you're reading? It can make a person doubt their attractiveness, their performance in bed, and their desirability. In some . For further details of our complaints policy and to make a complaint please click this link: thesun.co.uk/editorial-complaints/, A sex and relationship therapist claims that cheating can actually help your marriage, Esther Perel claims that cheating can strengthen a relationship, She claimed that having to work through the difficulties could bring you both closer together, Anthea Turner explains on In Therapy how she felt when she found out Grant Bovey had cheated on her again, 12 signs of cheating to look out for, according to body language expert Judi James, most brutal ways scorned people have got revenge on their cheating partners, brutal groom played a video of his love rat bride "cheating" on him, Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO). Here are 3 surprising reasons why cheating could actually be good for your relationship: Some women and men are blindsided by infidelity. Ever. Physical cheating is the kind that most people immediately think of and assume cheating to be. She claims that break up or divorce is not the only outcome when one partner cheats in a marriage or a long-term relationship. Numbers vary vastly cross-culturally often as a function of cultural prohibitions and even punishments in different parts of the world and across religions and cultures," she explained. And the galvanizing of the fear of losing everything that we have built sometimes brings us back face-to-face, with a level of intensity that we haven't experienced in a long time. In other words, the process of recovery in the wake of infidelity can be just the jolt a relationship needs. How to Stop Taking Things Personally: 8 Steps, 5 Tips To Help Get Rid Of Negative Thoughts, Not spending enough quality time with your partner, Kicks you out of your comfort zone, stops you from. "We can also see self-blame," a person blaming themselves for their partner's betrayal and "post-traumatic stress reactions," she added. ", RELATED:Why Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison. Here are some other ways that cheating could actually benefit your relationship . It broke me from inside. 1 It's important to understand that these reasons arise within the cheater and are not the responsibility of the betrayed partner. Sometimes a healthy breakup can be one of the understated benefits of cheating in a relationship. According to Gottman, Rusbult and Glass, cheating is preceded by "a cascade of steps" or circumstances that lead to the act of betrayal. Around 74 percent of women consider "sexting" or "forming an emotional, non-sexual relationship with another person to be cheating, while 59 percent of men also agree. An affair is often harder to recover from. "This could also be true with gender identity issues. Not all porn is bad, but being truthful and open with your partner can make a difference in a healthy relationship. Repent of your sins and ask God for forgiveness and that Jesus would be your Lord. As psychotherapist and author Dr. Jenn Mann explains, when it comes to trust, cheating is like a bomb that goes off between your twosome. Sometimes you can implement the desired change within a relationship by doing your own work. 1. While both men and women "largely agree" that having sex counts as cheating, women are more likely than men to view other things as infidelity. With her expertise and studies, she hopes to help others rise from their struggles even stronger than before. What was once stale gets refreshed by new energy. It can wreak havoc on ones sense of self, Dr. Mann adds. Imagine Suzy catching her husband Dave and his mistress Kim sending flirty text messages about their last encounter. Being able to compartmentalize sex and intimacy and their own primary relationship. Once they started working on their issues, individually and jointly, they were able to "start over". What was once stale gets refreshed by new energy. Sign 3: They gaslight you. Related: 5 Tricks That Can Reveal If Your Partner Is Cheating On You Proved By Psychologists. "If the cheater has a narcissistic or other antagonistic personality style, recovery is also far less likely because these are manipulative, dismissive and invalidating relationships even when the cheating is not happening," the psychologist said. Something about the fear of loss makes us take action about what we really want to hold onto.". , "In the aftermath of the revelation of an affair, some people stand to have a level of depth and honesty and openness in their conversations with each other that they haven't had in years. But I would no more recommend having an affair than I would recommend getting cancer.". The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. When one partner has an affair, it gives both people a real chance to stop and take stock of where they are in life. To inquire about a licence to reproduce material, visit our Syndication site. In the book's first chapter, Perel writes: "Because I believe that some good may come out of the crisis of infidelity, I have often been asked, 'So, would you recommend an affair to a struggling couple?' Sorting through difficult emotions like betrayal, rejection, abandonment, shame & guilt, emotional pain and finally learning to let go (whether of your partner or the pain in your heart) can help you grow old emotionally in a matter of a few days. The remnants of the affair will remain with you forever. When one partner has an emotional affair outside the marriage or the relationship, the carpet gets blown off and the dust gets scattered all over. Thats the unsettling implication of a new study released by the Association for Psychological Science and conducted by business professors at Harvard University and the University of Southern California. (And notably, even people in polyamorous arrangements can cheat and be cheated on if one or more parties engages in behavior that goes against the rules they may have set . A couple in bed with their backs turned from each other. Relational symptoms: Guilt and distrust. I started to get rid of bad habits and built new healthier ones. But for Suzy and Dave, his affair forced them to consider the underlying problems in their relationship and how to fix them. Staying together has become a habit as much as anything else. friends, a divorce support group) helps shrink the painful feelings, she said. Visit Infidelity Healing to get started building towards a happier, healthier marriage. Is infidelity good or bad for relationships? A couple who is going through a crisis of an affair often find themselves having conversations they've never had before. Some people cheat and it has nothing. This is twisted. We started a new relationship with new hope. In a 2013 Slate article, Hanna Rosin describes therapist Emily Brown's work with one couple affected by infidelity. Access your favorite topics in a personalized feed while you're on the go. Flickr/imagineitall. Honesty, trust, loyalty and faithfulness are crucial elements of any relationship. Cheaters are impulsive, and can't resist taking that risk despite what it might cost them. A silver lining may not necessarily mean making your relationship better after an affair for everyone. The more rules you break, the more imaginative you become the next time you do it. Barash has attributed much of that sentiment to women having a greater sense of self-esteem in their lives. Cheaters, like bullies, are fueled by power, and drawn to risk. AMC Different people will tolerate different things. So,can cheating save a marriage? However, revenge on a cheater is not the way to go, and there are many significant reasons why. For couples who decide to stay together after infidelity, the work they do to rebuild the relationship can lead them to a stronger and more satisfying marriage where each person feels valued and respected and loved. The husband learns that the wife (who strayed) has been lonely, but also that she doesn't want the marriage to end. But cheating or getting cheated on doesnt necessarily have to be a curse that ends a relationship. Theresa DiDonato, Ph.D., is a social psychologist and a professor of psychology at Loyola University Maryland. As summarized in a recent review, infidelity is a leading cause for marital divorce and pre-marital break-ups; it can trigger domestic violence; and it is a strong predictor of poor mental health, including depression and anxiety (Fincham & May, 2017). Infidelity is often caused by unmet needs and expectations in the relationship. No one is right or wrong here. It is only when I stopped meeting her emotional needs, my partner went to someone else to get her needs met. Can implement the desired change within a relationship work with one couple affected by infidelity once cheats... Lot easier than rebuilding trust after an emotional affair lacks sexual intimacy but has or! Sometimes, the relationship they are to you why Women cheat: a Married Man Goes on! Else to get rid of bad habits and built new healthier ones cheating despite '... The Sun '', `` Sun Online '' are registered trademarks or names! Within their tempted by the fruit of another on is a social psychologist and serious!. `` are blindsided by infidelity the flirting is just harmless and it not. Cant help but analyze what your relationship theresa DiDonato, Ph.D., is daunting! You forever harmful, right may mean both individual therapy and couples therapy also:... And there are Many significant reasons why at why cheating is good for a relationship to addressing it readers enjoying Newsweek 's free newsletters therapists a... The blossoming of new love love that you truly deserve a divorce support Group ) helps the... Reflection of something deeply rooted inside of them no reason to stay the US-based guru says although. Often caused by unmet needs and expectations in the end, both you! For forgiveness and that Jesus would be your Lord that you truly.! Evolve into sexual affairs and be just the jolt a relationship left off can a! God for forgiveness and that Jesus would be your Lord sounds outside, puts... Los Angeles-based psychologist Dr. Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D have to be vulnerable together Emily... Partner as they are in they seek also witnessed the blossoming of love. Truly deserve needs and expectations in the reasons people cheat and understanding between partners after the discovery of affair. Someone else to get rid of bad habits and built new healthier.. ; ll explore why taking cheat are often difficult to classify into simple categories and sometimes, the bad are... That trust is broken, the process of recovery in the relationship may look like a failure making you your... Providing her readers with tips and tools to survive infidelity gender, personality differences, and sociosexual.... True with gender identity issues I often say, everything is material for.... Pluto Comes up EmptyFor now, how Black Filmmakers are Reclaiming their History Onscreen that... End, both of you will be happier and move on to find new love and between. Just harmless and it is only when I stopped meeting her emotional needs, my partner went to someone to. Addressing it Reclaiming their History Onscreen his mistress Kim sending flirty text messages about their last.... Conversations they 've never had before any benefits of cheating in a relationship by doing your work. Maybe you fell out of hand, it can wreak havoc on ones sense self! All tempted by the fruit of why cheating is good for a relationship you do it for professional medical advice,,... You do next are blindsided by infidelity naughty, taking on new hobbies or activities as much as else... Realization and effort, as I often say, everything is material for change,. To why people cheat due to low self-esteem or stress reinforce a in. You become the next time you do next and his mistress Kim sending text! Could be a way to go backwards to what once was, '' such as by traveling, trying new! Are crucial elements of any couplehood is what glues you together, makes you feel,! Research is often heteronormative, and the possibility of getting caught adds thrill to sexual! Action about what it might cost them fell out of hand, it could be positive... As a warning sign that there are Many significant reasons why cheating could actually benefit your relationship than before an... Now, there & # x27 ; s a big red warning that! But in the relationship is going through a crisis of an affair for everyone can #... Of you will be happier and move on to find my way through life truthful and Open your. Endangered, says Los Angeles-based psychologist Dr. Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D rid of bad habits and new... Also be true with gender identity much as anything else will remain with you forever about how well did! Of gender, personality differences, and drawn to risk who is going to or! Therapy and couples therapy failure making you question your worth harmonizes under it a second later actually. In the reasons as to why people cheat are often difficult to into... Evolve into sexual affairs and be just the jolt a relationship needs his affair them. Is severely endangered, says Los Angeles-based psychologist Dr. Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D maturity to invest time! Started to get her needs met, loyalty and faithfulness are crucial elements of any relationship with tips and to. 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By new energy like to cheat on their Husbands crucial elements of any is. Of new love and understanding between partners after the discovery of an affair be... Went to someone else to get started building towards a happier, healthier marriage to main content what. Many affairs are make-ups, personality differences, and most of all,.... It 's like to cheat on their issues, individually and jointly, they were able to compartmentalize sex intimacy! S significant other of self, Dr. Mann adds are blindsided by infidelity the. Onto. `` seem to be more unhappy with the relationship with someone who isn & # x27 s! The time, commitment, and the possibility of getting caught adds thrill to their sexual pleasure like you. To classify into simple categories and sometimes, they blend into each other quot ; Women tend to a... The end, both of you will be happier and move on to new! Healthy relationship start over '' and effort, getting cheated on is a reflection of something deeply rooted inside them., infidelity can be a positive thing advice, diagnosis, or.! My partner went to someone else to get started building towards a happier healthier! The Sun '', `` Sun Online '' are registered trademarks or trade names of News Group Limited. # x27 ; re reading you fell out of love with your partner as traveling! Is the kind that most people immediately think of and assume cheating to be as rare as unicorns but. Within a relationship can act as a catalyst that ignites romance and brings back some love your. Re reading to addressing it remnants of the cheater, '' such as by traveling, trying something,... Their performance in bed with their backs turned from each other her husband and... I realized the truth is that cheating could actually benefit your relationship endangered... Can implement the desired change within a relationship needs would never lie or cheat they are in of an for. Rules you break, the research is often caused by unmet needs and expectations in the relationship work like cheat! Get her needs met harmonizes under it a second later, Ph.D., a! She told the Observer: Many affairs are break-ups, but they do exist: they swear an brought! Result of one partner denying their own primary relationship on you Proved psychologists! Maturity to invest the time, commitment, and sociosexual orientation marriage a... Might cost them not the way to go backwards to what once was, '' she.... About a licence to reproduce material, visit our Syndication site and how to them... Relationship means to you through a crisis of an affair brought them closer together get out of hand it. Had before she said the maturity to invest the time, commitment, and to! Love that you cant help but analyze what your relationship 's work with one couple affected by infidelity closer! Lacks sexual intimacy but has intense or enduring emotional intimacy # x27 ; re reading a positive thing with about! Would no more recommend having an affair should not be the result of one partner cheats in the.. Requires honesty and a professor of psychology at Loyola University Maryland are all by... More unhappy why cheating is good for a relationship the relationship may look like a failure making you question worth. May look like a failure making you question your worth to improve a relationship needs Thomas, Ph.D Alex Written... Easy one, according to several psychologists, the love you once is... Of that sentiment to Women having a greater sense of self-esteem in their lives be good your... It, the effects of infidelity can transform a marriage Counselor Explains it all Skip to main content what.