I was simply drawn to it. Follow Sara Lewis on Instagram@SpaceandPurposeCheck out Saras Blogspaceandpurpose.comSomething Was Wrong Podcast, featuring Saras story. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-Winning immersive storytelling docuseries podcast that focuses on the discovery, trauma, and recovery from emotionally (and otherwise) abusive relationships. New episodes come out every Monday for free, with 1-week early access when you join Amazon Music or 1-week early and ad-free for Wondery+ subscribers Mine was all mental, so I minimized it because outwardly it didnt appear as dramatic as others stories. Josh and Chuck have you covered. (My piano teacher would laugh at that now because of a comment I made about it while facing each other from across two grand pianos.). I remember being thoroughly convinced of my incapability, frustrated to the point of tears when my music teachers wouldnt believe my arguments. As believers, we have the power of Christ within us and when we are rooted, standing firm in our identity, it is a force that can withstand anything. So He can enjoy us again as shimmering reflections of Him as we were in the beginning: beautiful and unashamed. I havent always written about heavy topics like abuse recovery, but after coming within 8 days of marrying a sociopath, my day-to-day thoughts and life took a massive turn. I felt sick to my stomach and wish Id reacted differently now, but at that point my discernment had faded and I deferred to him. The actual moment my story from The Year that is No More became available to the world via podcast, I was dripping sweat at the gym while blasting Eminem in my ears. Amy shares a personal story of pain, healing, survival and her search for justice. When Sara Lewis shared her story on a podcast, she didn't think of herself as "brave." But when her story went viral, she quickly learned what it meant to be in the spotlight. ), (There were too many blinders on at that point to recognize that life will ALWAYS throw curveballs testing the patience of myself and the person Im with. Play When they took him to dinner WITHOUT HER after just a few dates my jaw dropped. On a small scale, Ill do a mental scan of my upcoming week. Or when were fired up and desperate for something, and come running to Him full of big emotions. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free on Amazon Music included with Prime. Youre easier to read than you think. It costs relationships. It took an abusive relationship to say fuck what my family thinks. As Christians, we are suppose to obey thy father and thy mother but it also says that you leave your mother and father and be with your spouse. Tee and Sylvia become closer as Sylvia and her son experience health challenges. Y'all are insane. If you can never get enough true crime Congratulations, youve found your people. I remember early on in our relationship, he handed $20 to a homeless person we walked by and later told me he kept 20 dollar bills in his pocket at all times for those exact opportunities. Humans are hardwired to need a vision, a hope of something more, something bigger than ourselves to invest in and be part of. Despite being encouraged in music my entire life and told I was a natural, I believed internal lies that said I was faking it. I had zero idea how Id measure up in any way to the groups of strangers my age who didnt talk like they spent summers reading books or watching black and white movies. Agreed. Often times, this season of transition and healing can feel like punishment for doing the right thing. No bruises to show for their huge act of leaving and tearing their family apart. Responded as if I could do no wrong because he was in awe of everything. At that moment this thought/impression entered my mind: If you could see as I do. That SAME song always, is so indescribably bad. He sees farther than we do. Something felt different. if that's what it takes to get my daughter to see clearly. Id seen the cover many times, writing it off as a fluffy Christian Girls are Ladies in Waiting lecture. Beautiful day. Gratchki 4 yr. ago. Some might be a complex mix of both sides depending on the day and their mood or emotional state. I am a multi-disciplinary maker of beautifully useful things that enrich lives. The loosey-goosey-ness has been humbling and revealing. He would shed actual tears when we would sit together watching movies or just cuddling on the couch, and I would think geez how damaged are you that this moment means this much? Something in my gut turned. What an injustice. YOU matter. Found her IG. But that song that plays at the intro and the end. There are a few reasons why, but one of the most problematic is the host both explicitly and implicitly stating that abuse is a gendered phenomena always in the direction of males abusing females (including in non-physical methods of abuse). Those that lacked depth or true relationship with God are lost and floundering. I'm sure this was a neon sign for my abuser. Not everyone fit this mold, but highschool me received it this way.) The first season deals with a young woman named Sara who was in engaged to a man who she later found out was not who he claimed to be. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was wrong. (@SpaceandPurpose) For fans of the podcast, Something Was Wrong, you may recognize Sara from Season 1. I thought they were deleting all comments identifying him? Mind blowing. Hear from survivors who have never before agreed to share their story publicly in this heartbreaking and harrowing season. Or we feel we need someone. Tee is happy to help out her close friend and coworker, Slyvia, when she becomes sick. They move on to their next conquest, leaving behind a shell of a person who thinks their lack of direction is their own fault. They wont see the truth of who you really are or arent. Ive gone through seasons of counseling twice now. When Sara got engaged she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. Hilariousnow Ive stared at it all summer while my heart has healed in so many ways. Jesus said that whoever loses their life for His sake will find it. This is a really great podcast that delves into very important issues. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was. Sociopathic and Psychopathic tendencies start with Antisocial Personality Disorder. THE PURPOSE - 100% of profits from each garment sold are contributed to a socially conscious artist grant program. There was a particularly dramatic night where he was driving up for the weekend, and my roommate and I were in my car on our way back home to meet him with movie night snacks. With the cooperation of the investigative agency, Solvable by audiochuck takes the listener behind closed doors and speaks directly to the past and current personnel who are responsible for investigating these crimes. It makes me cringe. Discount automatically applied at checkout, Book Review: A Story of Alcoholism, Pain, and Hope after Loss. Show Notes: Thats all, folks! We belong to Him. Jesus did all this so we could be restored to our Father. seek peace in ways we havent had to in a long time. Enter your email address to receive notifications of new posts. Listen to Season 9 of Something Was Wrong now and subscribe to hear the next chapter of their story every Thursday. . Not on the next repeat, though. or to justify a divorce to their church. This scenario doubles as an example of gaslighting: He was folding clothes by my bed one evening and said, Well Id never share a secret with you. I paused what I was doing and looked up, surprised, wondering where he was going with this. Was recently suggested the podcast Something was Wrong by a good friend, and wow is it GOOD! Its a new effort to come to the Lord and let Him be something new to me: the place I bring my injustices and frustration. National Domestic Violence hotline 1-800-799-7233 Tee befriends Sylvia and feels compelled to help her. The people we surround ourselves with are who we will reflect, so hopefully were all chasing something that freaks us out on some level. It was just a misunderstanding! When Sara got engaged she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. Looking back, until my current love, no one was really worth it. When my community (called a bubble by someone) felt something was wrong and told me to be praying with them, I didnt know what else to do but get on my knees alone that Friday night and read the Names of God out loud. The Bishops, OBrians, and Johnsons were your typical, picture-perfect family friends, until a tragedy revealed the cracks right below the surface. Terrifying, simultaneously, to see how this strategy operates and deceives intelligent and discerning people. Pretty dang quickly. With our spiritual buffets closed down, those who know how to fuel themselves from the Word, sending their roots down deep to find the truth in bedrock when it feels elusive are having to. A woman was praying for me shortly after I called off my wedding and she kept repeating, Hope is NOT deferred., Never. Read reviews and listen to Something Was Wrong on Chartable. Since I was still healing and my sense of self-worth was mid-restoration, I couldnt feel a proper anger over what someone had done or tried to do to me. The story is told on a podcast called Something Was Wrong. He just needed to get out. During my commute Ive been blasting the song Heroes by Amanda Cook from her album The Voyage, and every time she sings you taught my feet to dance upon disappointment, I burst with more emotions thanwhat should probably be considered safe for driving. I was in shock for several blocks while he bounced up and down in the drivers seat like a big kid in a puddle. Anyone who has tried it knows it teaches him to cower and hide the next time he messes up and this defined my idea of how God saw me for far too long. We are all capable of being obedient, and in my case thats all God has been asking of me. Even the sister does. Another way to listen early and ad-free is subscribing to Wondery+ in Apple Podcasts or the Wondery App. Dick is an abuser -- but also isn't Sara's family dynamic a bit intense? Pretty dang quickly. Press J to jump to the feed. And then support her when she needs to get away for this nutball. 2. Until one week before their wedding when she learned - something was wrong. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. r/podcasts: a subreddit to discover, discuss, and review podcasts with other podcast enthusiasts. I had no frame of reference for what he meant because I was ecstatic to see him. (Do you kinda feel that? Ultimately, I hope my thoughts bring either a good laugh, cry, or fresh sense of God's adoration and reckless desire for you. Christian friends, were not being spoon-fed anymore. [Alice + John + Naomi] You Wouldn't Believe It. So how quickly did I choose other things once church was canceled? Scripture says we were crucified with Christ and are new creations. Bear with me as this site goes through growing pains. A classic N doesnt want sympathy because they view themselves as above it. [Valentina] Wait, Youre Supposed to Help Me. When we receive the gift of what Jesus did for us,He isnt looking at our shortcomings, so why should we? For fans of the podcast, Something Was Wrong, you may recognize Sara from Season 1. A listener makes a discovery that leads Sara to final answers in her quest for the truth. When Sara got engaged she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. Given the subject of the podcast, she was right to have reservations, but even though she's not the sociopath in the story, she also comes off as not likeable. When Id do it back to him (to subconsciously see how he liked it), hed pout and give me the silent treatment for a while. It was reckless, cruel, and showed a total disregard for decency. 2. Narcissism 101, my friends. I enjoyed my life and MYSELF when this tall man dressed in a red suit holding a pitchfork showed up at my door and asked if I wanted to lose it and see myself as worthless. When Sara got engaged, she thought that she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. It scared me numerous times. Totally. I just listened and I want to know too. It makes no sense to outside observers; it can even appear counterintuitive to fight fear with stillness. r/podcasts: a subreddit to discover, discuss, and review podcasts with other podcast enthusiasts. Ive wondered if its an affront to His design when Christians continually refer to themselves and the church as wretched or even sinners saved by grace. (Here we go! Somehow hed known this comment would get under my skin. Ok thats wild fast! Playlists from our community. I believed that charming, selfless man would come back he was just under some stress today. Sara begins to uncover more about her Fiance. Since 2012, MTV's reality series Catfish has taken us through the murky waters of online dating by investigating relationships and exposing the people who lie about their identities. Hatred is a powerful word I refuse to carry with me, but last Saturday morning as I was taking screenshots for my story, new disgust churned in my stomach. There are probably fewer men willing to talk about their abuse, but I hope there are active attempts being made to include those stories. In public, he was extremely high-energy and intense. In past blog sites I wrote about random funny stories or my process with the Lord, but I started this page while recovering from narcissistic and sociopathic abuse. When I play it, I cant help but get lost in the stark contrasts of who I was during those hundreds of hours spent learning and refining it, and who I am now Mentally wandering through big, landmark memories of discovery, adventure, victories, and fears. The things this man put her and her family through is so intriguing and heartbreaking. As the numbness wears off and Im pulling old files to compile my story, I read texts with clear eyes. If you're into true story podcasts, give this one a try. Story of Dick & Sara has me reeling! It still irritates me. Add a hefty sprinkle of guilt for feeling that way, since Im fully aware of my safety and blessings in the moment, and you have the tension of right now. Real-Time. Soon after I get that thing, I go on my merry way and get busy. 64.2k Followers, 178 Following, 52 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Something Was Wrong Podcast (@somethingwaswrongpodcast) His family was placing big burdens on him. Looking around, Im surrounded by incredible people to champion and go to war for me. The busyness is all valid things like 3 jobs, a consistent fitness routine, family relationships, etc but before I know it, 3 weeks have gone by and the person that blessed me with these jobs and incredible community (literally everything I was just asking Him for) hasnt heard from me and thats all He wants. . And what is it really like to be doxxed and harassed online to the point the FBI has to get involved? Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, . Dipping my toes in some frigid waters!) With a list of reasons why he shouldnt pick them up, or boldly jumping into his arms with excitement? Now is not the time to wait for one to reveal itself- you probably know exactly what it is, and that surely not that thought probably suffocating you right now as you read this is the one you need to act on right now. (Opus. The story is told on a podcast called Something Was Wrong. You know how you can buy a car you never knew existed, and suddenly you notice them everywhere? Quite a few people Ive spoken to say that they feel stuck for the sake of their children, or because the signs of abuse arent publicly visible. A docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath. 15. Forward to that night lying in bed: I was contemplating the existence of mankind (I know; Im not kidding) and I straight up wondered, Why? Was there truly nothing but you, God, and you decided all of THIS was a good idea? Ive seen friends I grew up with walk away from church and I firmly believe this had a lot to do with it. He finally has our full attention. Show Something Was Wrong, Ep [Alice + John + Naomi] The Wheels Fall Off - 23 Feb 2023 We have felt like square pegs in round holes because the fit didnt exist until now. add a review Rate Podcast Play Apps List Bookmark Share Contact This Podcast You in the beginning.. I encourage you to find even the smallest, most immediate platform you have to tell your story and use your voice. Something Was Wrong started as a way of documenting the experience of Sara, a woman who thought she was marrying the man of her dreams, but as the podcast's title suggests turned out to be incredibly wrong. For years, my MO has been to sit back and wait before acting. I know where my heart was. Just recently I remembered his family asking me about my medical career while having dinner in Colorado. Black Friday Deal: In the name of gratitude, enjoy 50% off our Prepare-to-Publish Self Study Discount automatically applied at checkout. You have all these moving parts literally every digit is moving but dont ever allow fingers 2 and 5 to physically lift from the keys while playing because those notes are tied. (You will get caught.) For free and confidential resources, please visit: somethingwaswrong.com/resourcesGirls Next Level PodcastGirls Next Level on Instagram: @girlsnextlevel_podcastFollow Holly on Instagram: @hollymadisonTo purchase SWW merch, please visit: represent.com/store/somethingwaswrongArtwork by the amazing Sara Stewart @GreaterThanOkay - Instagram.com/greaterthanokaySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. I agree. And if you're hearing Sara's story for the first time, wellyou're in for a wild ride! But I started listenin Mon night & am 9eps into S1. The old man is dead. Follow Sara Lewis on Instagram @SpaceandPurpose Check out Sara's Blog spaceandpurpose.com Something Was Wrong Podcast, featuring Sara's story I had the wherewithal at that moment to hold my ground. I had been slowly and systematically brainwashed over several months to question my reality and believe I was a piece of work, so there was a lot of repair that needed to happen. Am I brave enough to chase what I want, or scarier yet, let go of something less? The other side reveals the most dangerously effective person I can imagine: someone who has realized they have nothing to lose. When that light feels like a pinpoint, we have to lean in closer and He is faithful to meet us there. Emotions came but I shoved them down and started thinking through examples he might be referring to. A few months ago, I was thankful simply to go through the motions of each day, having lost myself somewhere I couldnt return to, feeling nothing. I have nothing to lose by sharing His story but maybe some pride, which I have to kill. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) joins us on SWE for a long chat about a past relationship that took a crazy turn. My current state of wholeness and freedom is a testimony to that. Physical abuse is evil, but emotional abuse is insidious as it hides, especially with gaslighting involved. I grabbed the bags from the car, crossed the parking lot to greet him while my roommate continued on into the house, and when I saw his posture I paused. See historical chart positions, all 199 episodes, and more. It is that simple. The increasing speed of the emotional roller coaster leading up to the wedding wasnot ok,not normal, andnot my fault. When we were Voxing in the car and you were with your roommate, I could hear the happiness in your voice. When Im desperate for something, I remember Him and draw close. Find similar podcasts. But when hosts Nev Schulman and Kamie Crawford got in touch with 27-year-old Kristen to help her confront her online love interest Sarah, things took an unexpected . I literally came on here looking for someone else to validate my feelings on this - thank you! Many times Id come home to $300+ of Whole Foods groceries in the fridge. *Content warning: emotional, sexual and physical violence, child . This episode comes out for free on Thursday December 22nd 2022. The police have you surrounded. I laughed and cried all the way home, using the experience to learn how to trust my gut and we both moved on to live our best lives.). Outwardly hes a good person, Ive heard or read multiple times. Suns finally out, am I right?, Me: Oh! Weddings ARE expensive, after all. Eventually, I became one of those things weighing him down and needed to be more aware of it (according to his friend Kimmy Jane Powers). Id feel uncomfortable with the insults hed quickly throw at people crossing him, and embarrassed at the lack of Christlike character it showed. (I dont know if Im ready to post my thoughts on church leadership that encourages anyone to remain in an abusive marriage. S1 E1: There Were No Red Flags. Our spirits are what reflect Him. I have a point to make with my past that I will shamelessly vent here now: perhaps we shouldnt devalue the gravity of the Cross by continuing to wallow and call ourselves sinners, though Im no seminary student. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Her family is AWFUL!! All I remember is apologizing just to end the mess, him chuckling at my overreacting while continuing to fold clothes, and our night moving on. When it was clear we were spiraling out of control, in His consistency God abided by His own rules and sent someone without sin to shed blood for us, so we wouldnt have to keep sacrificing flawless animals the Old Testament way to approach Him. Its easy! To a fault, I will assume someone meant the best but simply made a mistake. Suddenly his explanation changed from claiming he hadnt said it, to having said it but Id completely misread the whole thing. (Sorry to barge onto ur Twitter but just searched "something was wrong podcast" & saw ur tweet) Check out Sara's personal blog, Space & Purpose. Some of my darkest days have been marked by a unique sense of His presence I dont feel other times. Thats whats happening. Sayings like move along grandma youll be dead soon anyway were common. Our hearts. Both hands have independent melodies that you must differentiate between, so listeners can hear each one sing. (I remember that word so well.) Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was wrong. Soon after I get that thing, I go on my merry way and get busy. Playlists. Something Was Wrong is an immersive docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from emotionally (and otherwise) abusive relationships. Until one week before their wedding when she learned - something was wrong. What I didnt know was even with everything I was feeling, I was still a little numb, and safely so. He had an uncanny ability to read my thoughts and discern my feelings. Like yeah I want the approval of my family too, but it also isn't going to determine my happiness either. I usually tap my fingers nervously, hoping I dont have to get loud for the truth thats screaming in my head to be heard or to make myself seen in order for what I, We are not going back to normal or anything comfortably livable this time around unless we, . I have spent the last two days binging this, mostly at work (made the days go really fast! As for her parents and how they handled this, I just hope the people speaking on that have a daughter of their own, becuase if not, STFU about it until you do. Its very simple: youre more excited to be with your roommate and thats fine. I encourage her to think more carefully about how she describes the intersection of sex, gender, and abuse, to consider having male stories of abuse, and more LGBT+ stories. This is why isolation vs. community involvement is a big factor here. Fall has always been a favorite. Takes to get away for this nutball 1-800-799-7233 tee befriends Sylvia and her son experience health challenges that! Light feels like a big kid in a puddle Contact this podcast you in the car and you with... Is insidious as it hides, especially with gaslighting involved selfless man would come back he was under! 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