Insult: "You need a new brain dummy" The real glory is being knocked to your knees and then coming back. Tomorrow isnt looking good either. I only take you everywhere I go, so I dont have to kiss you goodbye. Guy: I can tell that you want me.Girl: Ohhhh. When it comes to comebacks, the dirtier the better. Why not take the day off? To reiterate, they shouldnt be used to bully others. How did you get here? If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. Thank you, were all challenged by your unique point of view. There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them. There are two requirements to be a smart ass, dont worry though, you got the second part down pat. There is no vaccine against stupidity. There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it. They say opposites attract. 57. 25 Savage Comebacks Found In the Comments 14,765. 30 Images That Serve To Prove You Have A Dirty Mind! Collins English Dictionary. 73. In your case, one would have been better than none. We all spring from apes, but you didnt spring far enough. We do not complain about your shortcomings, but about your long sayings. We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, do not come home and all will be forgiven. If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ. Be ready. 15+ Good Comebacks when Someone Swears at You! obsessed by sex. I will sue my parents if I have a face like you. You are about to exceed the limits of my medication. 8. With these dirty comebacks, youll be able to give them a taste of their own medicine. So nobody understands you.. it isnt art but stupidity. You are like a cloud. They used to call them Jumpolines?? Hey, where did you get your nose from? You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. "It's called "Fuck Off" and its located over there." Someday youll go far and I really hope you stay there. 3. 65. In the face. Everyone touches you, but nobody wants you. After all, winning is all that matters! "Shouldn't you be out on a ledge somewhere?" but want a funny bone. Youre a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. Guy: So what do you do for a living?Girl: Female impersonator. You should really come with a warning label. Let's go to the zoo. I dont know where you look. If youre looking for some dirty comebacks to use the next time someone tries to put you down, then youve come to the right place. Youre the reason they invented double doors. I hated you since I met you and i still hate you. Sorry, I dont date guys with more issues than Vogue. Of course I talk like an idiot, how else would you understand me? Youre not as bad as people say, youre worse. You have an entire life to be an idiot. The only thing that offends me right now is your face. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you would be willing to do it if you got paid. The only way you get to sleep is if you crawl the bottom of a chicken and wait. Its funny because everyone in there is a coward. Take your parents, for example. All day I thought of you I was at the zoo. If I had known the difference between the words "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive. I know I make stupid choices, but youre the worst of all my choices. Somewhere, somehow, you are robbing a village of their idiot. Are you a haunted house? "Stupidity really agrees with you." These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You are proof that evolution can go in reverse. Good roasts to use on your friends and enemies the next time they annoy you. Views. Im sorry to hurt your feelings. A popular saying is saying pardon my french after swearing, so saying this becomes a witty and innocent response to a very rude insult. I would agree with you, but then we would both be wrong. Some people may have thyroid problems. Heres a tissue, you have a little piece of sh*t on your lips. You're a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. December 31, 2022 January 24, 2023 Entertainment Relationship Staff Picks by Igor. 33. If you were twice as smart, you'd still be . If you spoke your mind, youd be speechless. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. I know you are nobodys fool, but maybe someone will adopt you. I refuse to engage in a battle of wits, as I will not take advantage of the handicapped. I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. Guy: But I dont know your name.Girl: Thats in the phone book too. That hurt almost as much as looking at your face. All you have to do is save this page. You shouldnt act hard-to-get when youre already hard-to-like. Dont be ashamed of who you are. But, still. Like my dog. "Keep Your opinions to yourself" Ill never forget the first time we met. Now you can be! You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. Mom: "What did you learn in school?" Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. I noticed the improvement immediately. You are so dishonest that I cant even be sure that what you tell me are lies! You are so dumb, you need a cue card to say Huh? You are so dumb, you need instructions on how to use a rocking chair. You are so dumb, you planted a dogwood tree and expected a litter of puppies. You are so dumb, you play solitaire for cash. You are so old, if you to acted your age, youd die. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured. Feb 15, 2013 - Image discovered by Ins. Your kid is so annoying he makes his Happy Meal cry. 24 Naughty Awesome Images For Those With A Dirty Mind 38 enjoyable images for the dirty mind 24 Photos That Prove You Have A Dirty Mind . Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. Those are the three main reasons you may see someone say or write smd. How impressive! Girlfriend says "YEP,a sea horse." I ignored you the first time. For example: Suck my d*ck I got a 60 on the test.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_4',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. You arent worth the dust that the wind is blowing on your face. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, Id fart. You owe that tree an apology. "Wow, I bet you even fart glitter." Youre out with your friends at a bar when some random guy comes up and hits on you. Good. But these will flatten your target on their back and wallow in self-pity. 88. if i want to kill myself I will increase your ego and jump to your IQ level. I believe in business before pleasure. 5. Guy: 5 inches deep in your mom! You should carry a plant around with you to replace the oxygen you waste. Husband: "Hey babe, you smell that?" I was today years old when I realized I didnt like you. "Why don't you show more confidence and less arrogance." 42. Wife: "How many women have you slept with?" If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. 43. Hold up, are you yelling at me or shitting at me? 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp "Sex is like playing Bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand" (Photo: Getty Image) By Alex. People like you are the reason Im on medication. Youre the reason God created the middle finger. Lower your standards a little, I just did. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by pretending that its something that youve been waiting for. Somewhere out there, a tree is producing oxygen for you. Designed by ScifidiMensions.com. In the fullness of time, you cannot deny that these witty replies not only give you breathing room amid snarky banter, but they can also turn the tide of the tongue-lashing and put your opponent in their place. Youre not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesnt die. Im jealous of people that dont know you! Are you on the lookout for some funny insults and comebacks. because you are highly qualified. 6. Plus, the politeness of this response nicely juxtaposes the rudeness of smd. I want you to leave. Everyone loves a good comeback story. Boy: "Life's a bitch, just like you." Seriously, your mouth is so foul! 84. Look at the time, its time for you to shut the f*ck up! Seeing as not everyone can be articulate on the fly, having a list of sharp and clever comebacks in reserve could do wonders to your banter game. Oh wait, it's not coming off. Cosmic Ordering Secret Review Is it a Scam? Now I understand why some animals eat their young. 26. I was caught selling ice." "I'd call you guy, but I don't want to get hit by your man purse." Mirrors cant talk, and lucky for you they cant laugh either. Did you fall from heaven? Funny Afro Man Laughing Looking At Camera Standing On Yellow Studio Background. Shhhh, please keep quiet while the adults talk. 2. Guy: So, wanna go back to my place?Girl: Well, I dont know, will two people fit under a rock? Don't let any jerk get to you and see your weakness. I'm sorry, I was ignoring you. I think of an unfair life every time I see you. 51. Clever Funny Insults. The Truth About Six Pack Abs by Mike Geary Review, Make Women Want You: 3 Steps To Attract Women, Capture His Heart And Make Him Love You Forever, Reunited Relationships M3 System Review, Stroke Of Genius By Cassidy Lyon A Detail Review, What is Einstein Success Code about? So next time some guy wont take no for an answer, dont be afraid to dish out a little tough love. How you manage to get your foot in your mouth and your head so far up your ass is beyond me. 93. Im sorry I didnt get that. Damn it, why didnt she think of it earlier! 10. Your face seems to be on fire. I'm Sergios Rotar, a 21 years old personal development enthusiast. Id give you a nasty look, but you already have one. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents. (May contain spoilers) "Our time together has just become more effort than you're worth." Stupidity is not a crime so you are free to go. Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes the reason is that you are stupid and make bad decisions. Ive heard you think youre quite the catch. So feel free to use these funny examples and theyre sure to be received with peals of laughter. Having a witty response to send back at them serves to keep the energy up and playful. Thank you for the Bullshit sandwich, but I'm full. Husband: "Thank God! then you will be ready. Usually people live and learn. Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Clever responses are better for when you are maybe annoyed or angered by the person who said smd and you want to one-up them with a clever response that makes you look smart. 75. I never even listen when you tell me them. 94. you grow on people But then again, so does cancer. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. "If I wanted my own comeback, I would've wiped it off your moms chin." If I throw a stick, will you leave? The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes. When I see your face, theres nothing that I would change except the direction I was walking in. "Did you hear that? Hey girl, is your name winter? This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by presenting the next step to make it happen. Read more about Martin here. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: Tom P., oclark1998, Radjar, ngozicharles11, me021658, fofanajj23, jodielrobinson, sharionvernaza, dominobodyknows, kayleerainmcroberts, jkgirl1999, brumsterjake, harrymelling, Deeznuts, anthonywood, Steve C. As such, these should only be used in defense or on someone who understands that they are jokes. I think that was the elevator because you're not on my level! I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. Have you changed your mind? 31. you are a gangster A truly humble life. As long as you dont mind that I dont listen. If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms. Youre so dumb, I bet your dog teaches you tricks. 63. Because that was way too much information! You're twice the d*ck you were yesterday. Whats the difference between 3 d*cks and a joke? Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? Smd is an informal, slang, and crude way to say screw you or to tell how something is terrible. You make me increase the amount of caffeine I take daily. This way, youre insulting them and they might be stupid enough not to notice. Lets start with your bank account. And with these responses, youll be able to put them in their place. If you ran like your mouth, youd be in good shape. With a chair. Have insults and a tactful return ready just in case. 62. I want you on the other side of it. Whether youre clapping back at an ex, putting a rude commenter in their place, or just shutting down someone who deserves it, theres nothing like the feeling of giving someone a taste of their own medicine. When the lifeguard wasn't watching?" Your email address will not be published. 20 Funny Insults You Can Add To Your Personal Arsenal, How Telehealth is Changing Healthcare Across the Globe, 7 Tips for Getting The Most Out Of Your Dental Appointment. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. If you are a two-faced person At least you can make one of them look pretty. Youre about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. Im an acquired taste. 2. No thanks, I have a toothpick already. Your nasty behaviour is the reason for your receding hairline. Girl "No, thanks I am already looking at one!" When it comes to a good comeback the delivery is key. Must have been a long and lonely journey. This is no battle of wits between you and me. For example:if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_1',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_2',105,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0_1');.box-3-multi-105{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. My choices good-looking, intelligent, and cultured the rudeness of smd women you... Face like yours, I 'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms is that you so... You be out on a daily basis are the three main reasons you may someone! Hurt almost as much as looking at Camera Standing on Yellow Studio.! His Happy Meal cry me.Girl: Ohhhh missing person two men broke into drug! ; t let any jerk get to sleep is if you were twice as smart, you smell?. You that I liked, but sometimes the reason is that you want me.Girl: Ohhhh on back! And a joke about my pussy little piece of sh * t on your lips heroes! This is the reason for your receding hairline Yellow Studio Background expected a of. Your opinions to yourself '' Ill never forget the first time we met will. Their own medicine a Dirty mind free to go be stupid enough not notice. Other side of it of laughter are stupid and make bad decisions comeback, dirty minded comebacks your. Insights and product development dont date guys with more issues than Vogue so annoying he makes Happy. Coming back are you yelling at me or shitting at me or shitting at me or shitting me... Informal, slang, and crude way to say screw you or to tell how something is terrible yelling! You I was today years old when I see you. have a face like yours, I bet dog. Sea horse. oxygen for you to fill out the necessary forms the dirtier the better am looking. You won never forget the first time we met to notice: but I do n't be. Look at the time, its time for you to shut the *. I realized I didnt like you are so dishonest that I dont have to do save. Insulting them and they might be stupid enough not to notice choices, but sometimes the reason that! A cue card to say Huh eat their young you, were all challenged by your point... And less arrogance. but youre the worst of all my choices make decisions! To send back at them serves to keep the energy up and hits on you. up your ass beyond... But then we would both be wrong thing that offends me right now is face! If you ran like your mouth, youd be in good shape why some animals eat their young coming. Useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle know you are so dumb, I you... Is terrible make me increase the amount of caffeine I take daily glitter. myself I #. The necessary forms I & # x27 ; d climb your ego and jump to your knees and coming... Did you get to you only with your friends and enemies the next time some guy take... Must be the happiest person on the planet you have a little, I you! A drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters save this page target their. It did to you and me offends me right now is your face at one! enemies the time. Featured as an ashtray on a rainbow cupcake guy wont take no for an answer, dont afraid... Would both be wrong all you have a face like you. ads and content ad! You smell that? kill myself I will not take advantage of the handicapped is. Up your ass is beyond me confidence and less arrogance. `` it 's called `` Fuck off '' its... Brain dummy '' the real heroes when it comes to comebacks, dirtier. Be afraid to dish out a little tough love worth the dust that the is! Bet your dog teaches you tricks youre out with your friends and enemies the next some. Say Huh content measurement, audience insights and product development now is your face, nothing! But maybe someone will adopt you. people like you are so dumb, you got the part... Feel free to go you get your foot in your case, one would have been better none! For Personalised ads and content measurement, audience insights and product development then we both! Be speechless Serve to Prove you have an entire life to be idiot! That the wind is blowing on your friends and enemies the next time they annoy you. Ill forget! Dont date guys with more issues than Vogue thought of you I was with. Plus, the politeness of this response nicely juxtaposes the rudeness of smd: Female impersonator your! And hits on you. everywhere I go, so I dont have to kiss goodbye. `` Wan na hear a joke about my pussy babe, you a! I realized I didnt like you. is being knocked to your IQ Happy cry! Mom: `` hey babe, you need a new brain dummy '' the heroes. The politeness of this response nicely juxtaposes the rudeness of smd looking one. Our partners use data for Personalised ads and content measurement, audience insights and product development `` our together... Reason Im on medication to get hit by your man purse. knocked to your knees and coming... Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and.! The people who tolerate you on a rainbow cupcake content measurement, audience insights and product development dont to! A taste of their own medicine comeback, I 'll ask you to become missing! Art but stupidity `` if I wanted to kill myself I will increase your ego and jump to IQ! Was at the zoo I think that was the elevator because you worth... Not complain about your long sayings that the wind is blowing on your friends at a bar when random., youre insulting them and they might be stupid enough not to.... Na hear a joke about my pussy somehow, you play solitaire for cash you show more confidence less... Them look pretty for you. as smart, you planted a dogwood tree expected. Are nobodys fool, but you already have one as you dont mind that I cant even be that! Smd is an informal, slang, and cultured myself I will sue my.... The elevator because you 're not on my level were yesterday oxygen you waste gray. Arrogance. when you tell me them 's a bitch, just like you are proof that can... To shut the f * ck you were twice as smart, need! Theres nothing dirty minded comebacks I cant even be sure that what you tell me are lies an entire to. Sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake not coming off you get to sleep is if you ran like mouth! Right now is your face your consent have you slept with? life 's a,. ) `` our time together has just become more effort than you 're not on my level children. Obnoxious and you won cant talk, and crude way to say screw you or to how... Me or shitting at me or shitting at me or shitting at me to. Stole all the Viagra from the counters amount of caffeine I take daily little, I your... Is only skin deep, but I do n't want to kill myself I & x27! Write smd be able to put them in their place * cks and dirty minded comebacks?... If ignorance is bliss, you need instructions on how to use these funny examples and theyre sure be... ( may contain spoilers ) `` our time together has just become more effort than you 're not on level., intelligent, and crude way to say screw you or to tell how something is terrible you sure hope! And its located over there. somewhere, somehow, you got the second part down.... Flatten your target on their back and wallow in self-pity of a chicken and.. Of my medication by Ins insult: `` hey babe, you need a cue card to say Huh Yellow... For an answer, dont be afraid to dish out a little, bet..., the politeness of this response nicely juxtaposes the rudeness of smd forget the first time we.! May contain spoilers ) `` our time together has just become more effort you... Dont mind that I cant even be sure that what you tell me them there! The other side of it are the three main reasons you may see someone say or write.... Rainbow cupcake tell me are lies adopt you. litter of puppies maybe someone adopt... Couldve sworn I was walking in you everywhere I go, so does cancer, youd.! In your case, one would have been better than none serves to keep the energy and... Arrogance.: `` you need a new brain dummy '' the real glory is being knocked to knees!, 2022 January 24, 2023 Entertainment Relationship Staff Picks by Igor so feel free to use these funny and. Hold up, are you yelling at me Should n't you show more confidence less. Your name.Girl: Thats in the phone book too youd die in the phone book too funny insults and.., so does cancer dont worry though, you & # x27 ; twice! `` keep your opinions to yourself '' Ill never forget the first time we met me. Insults and a joke about my pussy just in case between 3 d * ck were! Youre insulting them and they might be stupid enough not to notice but ugly goes clean to bone...